Oh fear, the old nemesis.

Maybe it’s a reasonable fear.

I may stuff this up. I may waste materials. I may look like a fool for trying. I doubt my skill level is enough to achieve a good result.

I want to feel proud of this but the pressure to create something I’m proud of is stopping me from even beginning.

These are justifiable reasons not to bother.

But…

try telling that to your spirit.

Ha!

You know the voice calling from the deepest part of you? It’s often loudest at 4am.

There’s Something I’m *called* to be doing. There’s a reason I’m alive right now and I don’t want to miss out on knowing it.

I’m hungry for the joy of knowing and doing.

Of seeing what can flow from my hand into the world.

I’m hungry to collaborate with this majestically creative Unknown. This universal Force. To manifest it into the here-and-now. To see the effect and taste the fruits.

To become confident with leaning into this wind, knowing it will not fail to hold me.

The magic that unfurls in this creative collaboration with universal force IS NOT RATIONAL.

It’s not reasonable in the way we are used to reasoning about things.

All head-say and no heart-say.

Our head gets to make so many daily decisions, and that is it’s job, right? Regulating function and dispensing resource, administering time and energy wisely. Watching the clock and keeping the schedule.

Weighing up risk and reward. Keeping record. Analyzing. Automating. Being a smart cookie.

In myself I feel as though the head is my inner parent; paying the bills, cleaning up, driving me around, talking through problems and putting food on the table.

My heart is the inner child; curiously observing and feeling in a way that’s too deep for words.

Longing to adventure, experience and interact. Taste, smell, soak here awhile. Unrestricted. Swim. Play. Sing. Dance. Run. Pour it out, roll around in it. What will become? Holding a sleeping baby bunny in my hands.

Tears as a toasty marshmallow falls into the ashes.

Experiencing surprises. Feeling the first rays of light on my face. Wondering about stars. Watching dew drip from a leaf. Hearing how it sounds. Noticing the seasons swing. Making a new friend. Peach juice dripping from my chin.

It’s the heart (child) that knows how to start the art, as certain as the rhyme therein.

The mind (parent) needs to renew faith in the ability of the heart to navigate, even though it’s not a rational consciousness.

The mind’s best function here is to regulate with the ultimate objective of sustaining the heart.

The heart’s best function is to adventure, develop, express and bring life through momentum; maintaining belief in all things, hope in all things and never giving in to action from fear.

Is it not the heart’s best work to discover and master the medium of love in all facets of life?

If you nodded yes (even on the inside), and this is true for you, then it’s given that the heart must feel many things - the painful along with the delightful.

It must know there is every good reason to fear, but knowing too that there’s absolutely a choice to act from Something Greater than fear.

We reinstate our authority through our sovereign will to choose. And I’m telling you, if you strengthen this Thing I PROMISE: fear itself will recoil in terror.

The key to your best art and the key to your best life are The Same Thing.

So, back to starting that painting and that fear you’re feeling (we had to go via the scenic route for a thorough experience) … it’s very important now that you do not come to a stand still. For this is still your choosing (although it doesn’t feel that way).

If you must paint on some other surface first, the objective now must be for your head to make space for your heart to stretch, absorb, be nourished and flow again.

(This might sound a bit woo-woo, but please just seriously try it:) Allow your head to speak to your heart and say “heart, I’m with you. I commit right now to being here for you to revive... I will hold the space for you to thrive again.”

WHICH MEANS head must not impose restrictions like “be careful not to waste the ink” or “not the watercolour paper! It’s expensive!”

Or “I really don’t have time to make something that isn’t good.”

Or “geez I suck at art. What am I even doing?”

Your mind is powerful to keep a tab on the thought-life that would impose pressure and limitation on the heart’s building of momentum.

Because, at this stage, this is all that is required of you. If you have had a rest and fidget to creatively engage, then move, my love. Just move.

A great way to get the ball rolling if you’re really having trouble getting head to shut-the-duck-up is a simple decision.

Actually let’s make an ugly painting.

Let’s wilfully create something disdainful.

Yes, LET’S! If we succeed, then you’ll enable some great observation/analysis action in naming exactly why this is hideous to you.

(This is extremely beneficial to define as it will give you clues and extra aesthetic info around what you truly love).

And IF WE FAIL, HURRAH! You failed at making an ugly painting. That will surely feel nice.

The best part, whether success or failure, you’ll have someThing Happening… which is truly the most powerful thing of all.

The nuts-and-bolts of why this works is simply that we have moved our motive from value by Product (I must produce something worthy) to value by Process (I must build momentum and tapping into Creative Energy).

Number 1 Rule:

ALLOW MOMENTUM TO BE YOUR GUIDE.

By this, I mean we must measure everything by momentum-power, not by product or perfection or other people’s opinion.

Is this exercise/painting/belief/action propelling me into sweet af creative momentum? Or do I sense a dead weight? A dead end? A loathsome squashing with nowhere to go?

Once we grow the habit of observing our thought life and then measuring self-talk, beliefs or motives by this Momentum Value instead of Product Value, oh baby OH!!!! Nothing can stop us! And the BEST part? It will ripple out into everything….

Even our very language is charged with enthusiasm and possibility. We literally channel positive charge without even trying. It’s highly contagious.

And it’s not just flippant words dressing up as positivity… it’s words delivered through a deep and profound testimony. I know this with my blood, sweat and tears. The depth of knowing is present in my voice. Haven’t we all had enough of flippy-floppy faffy-fluffy words?!

Lip service, flattery, fake confidence “you got this” kind of stuff, which you dare to believe but then it’s like a false landing. I don’t want you to tell me “you got this”… I need something to actually stand on.

What is there to stand on in this case?

Simply moving until we gather momentum, it’s not a floppy-fluffy false landing any longer. It’s cumulatively charged with experienced Advancing Power, tailored to our unique psyche.

And if we are careful to observe how our thought-life has supported this development we’ll have serious ammo stashed away for demolishing the next Fear roadblock.

So if you’re still feeling afraid to start that painting, paint on something else. Paint on something seemingly worthless like dry leaves or stones.

Tearing up paper to paint on small sections is another powerful mode. Anything which dethrones product value and crowns momentum value.

At all cost, keep moving and a way will open before you.

You’ll be SO GLAD you did!

(Make sure to come back and tell me what worked for you! I love news like that.)

If you feel like you need some solid support and inspiration please check out the Art to Heal a Heart Membership. Hundreds of women are finding new confidence through weekly online self-paced classes aimed at getting you falling back in love with your creativity all over again!

Much love,

Ange x

How to Start a Painting When You Feel Afraid